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Karma and Fathers - The Road
Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Juan
Date: 2003-10-02 10:18
Subject: Karma and Fathers
Security: Public
So I read a similar entry in DenimDoll's Journal so I'll share my experience.

Until they started tearing it up recently I usually come home on Richmond. I see a few beggars along the way. There's one lady that rides a bike around that I've seen for years. I've seen people give her money but she's always back so I'll never give her anything. Before I switched to Westheimer due to construction there had recently been some guys at Richmond and the Beltway with signs asking for donations to buy Sport Wheelchairs but they were always in the left lanes and I was in the right so I never got to give them donation for what I thought was a worthy cause. Then I went to see Underworld afterwork one day with Rilee and I saw them in the parking lot loading up their wheelchairs. So I went over and talked them for awhile and gave them $20. They were very thankful and even gave me a flier describing the several handicapped wheelchair sports teams in the Houston area and how to support them. So I hope they have success. This by no means makes me a generous person though. I give a bit to United Way every year for work, and a donation to the PvP forums or something like that every now and then that I enjoy to keep it up. I was floored and still am amazed at how much Jessica gives to her church and various charities.

-RANT WARNING- I didn't mean for this to be a rant but it turned into one.

While I'm on the subject of karma, my dad visited me last night. It wasn't a pleasant visit because I was in a bad mood, and he didn't help it any. He arrived 2 hours later than he said he would (as usual) which contributed to my bad mood. Which is always why I insist on him meeting me at my house so I'm not sitting at some restaurant waiting on him. I've waited on him all my frelling life and I'm not going to spend any more time waiting on him. He didn't come specifically to visit me, he's actually going fishing at Padre Island this weekend and I was just on the way and he needed a place to crash. We grown more apart lately, mainly because he moved to Baton Rouge and neither one of us care enough for the other to be bothered to go all that way to visit. We don't call each other much either. I generally put the same effort into talking to him as he's put into talking to me, which is very little. He talked about how busy his new job is, his new place, same old.. same old. While I admire his work ethic the fact is he has always been his job, and his job has always been the MOST important thing to him in his life. Even after he got laid off after 30 years only six months before he could retire he still hasn't learned that jobs are transient but family and people are forever. He threw a bit of guilt at me for not visiting, but I don't feel guilty since I don't think he visited me when I was in Temple. I did offer to help him move since he always helped with that for me but he turned me down. He's still an inconsiderate guy, he usually watches TV really loud until 2am (he's partly deaf from working in the petroleum plant before they made people wear earplugs) but he didn't do that this time but he did make me stop on the way back from dinner so he could buy some beer for him so he could drink himself to sleep (as usual). Instead he lit a prayer candle he had given me and let it burn next to my TV all night. I didn't realize it until the morning. I don't mind the prayer candle but you don't go to sleep with an open flame burning, especially not in a cheap blue plastic candle glass. ESPECIALLY not in somebody else's apartment. He also lost points for waiting until he was leaving to mention that he got engaged and is trying to get an annulment. I don't mind him getting remarried at all, but it pissed me off he's trying to get a
Catholic annulment
just so he can stay in the Knights of Columbus when he remarries.
I mean he was only married for more than 20 years with two kids, and I think he was married in the Catholic church will all the proper prerequisites. God forbid (literally) he not be able to sit around drinking beer with other KC's if he gets remarried without one.
This would make me spirtually illegimate, although I wouldn't be civially because an annulment still mean you had a civil marriage. That shouldn't bother me but it does for some reason. Although I'm not a religious guy and don't go to church I guess I'm technically still Catholic since I haven't found a better religion.
I just hate hypocrisy and he's always been the biggest religious hypocrite. For a man that goes to church that much and made me go until I moved away it's amazing none of it has sunk in. Grrrr. Sorry for the rant.
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User: jessdomestic
Date: 2003-10-02 10:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You're a way more generous person than I, Shaun. Really. I don't look upon my tithes to the church as charity -- that money was never my own according to my beliefs. What you did for those people in wheelchairs is *way* more meaningful than what I do when I put my envelope in the offering plate. You had to get out of your comfort zone to do it. I stayed seated on a comfy pew.

I hate to admit it sometimes, but I inwardly groan when people ask for donations. It was one thing in college, but now that I'm in the workplace and there's always some sort of fundraiser going on, it's hard. I did the United Way thing -- funny, I actually got this free set of pliers this morning for returning the envelope.

About Catholic annullment...my cousin's husband had to go through one. No offense to Catholicism, but sometimes I just don't get the processes and thinking. Couldn't the time spent on investigation be more adequately used in helping couples resolve their differences? Or, at least, making the children feel better about themselves than a "spiritual bastard" feeling?

Eh, see I ranted too. You're forgiven.
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Neal
User: parc
Date: 2003-10-02 13:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The annulment is really a way to say, "one of the parties entered the agreement not in good faith." The process should be entered way after the marriage is already dissolved legally. In today's society (be it American or otherwise), so many people get divorced that it would be impossible to continue catholic marriages going, so the annulment process gets a little easier as time goes on. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I've got opinions on the matter (Amber is dealing with the same stuff Shaun is), but they really don't matter.

As for the "spiritual bastard" part: according to this document from the archdiocese of Detroit, the children of an annulled marriage are still considered legitimate, even though the parents were "never" married.

Canon law is full of these swiss-cheese holes (not that I'm an expert, I'm not even catholic).
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Juan: Portrait
User: mcclintock
Date: 2003-10-03 11:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Portrait
Amber made me laugh when I talked to her. She said after she told you, you said 'I never really liked that man.' hee!
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Diana
User: frugal_fatshion
Date: 2003-10-02 10:53 (UTC)
Subject: It is your journal.
You should never apologize for anything that you write in here. :)

My friends and family think that I am foolish, because if I have money with me, I always give it to the people holding signs on the side of the road. I can't sit there in my cute little air conditioned car and not feel guilty. I know that is what they want you to feel, and it works, 'cause I empty my change and dollar bills every time.

I don't, however, give money to the people who walk around the malls with papers that say "Hi. I'm deaf. This is how I make my money." blah blah blah. One guy ruined it for me. I bought a pen from him for 4 dollars, and I saw him later that afternoon using a payphone near the restrooms. He was talking into the reciever and responding as well. I really felt foolish then. Oddly, I wasn't angry at the man for lieing, but sad because I knew then that I would never trust those people again. Sad.
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Juan
User: mcclintock
Date: 2003-10-02 11:44 (UTC)
Subject: Re: It is your journal.
Well these guys were in wheelchairs and loading them up into their handicappped equipped car, so I knew they were being genuine. What surpised me was the fact that they had fliers and weren't collecting for themselves, but for the members of their teams that needed financial help to attend events and were willing to talk to me at length about it. Not that I haven't given money to other types too. I had one guy approach me at CVS and give me the spiel about needing money for something (like bus money), my head said he was lying but if he was he was very good at it because he seemed truthful and sincere so I gave him a dollar or so.
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Kaleidoscope Eyes
User: kaleidoscopeeye
Date: 2003-10-02 11:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Tha annulment thing has been a sore spot with me for years. My mother has been with her boyfriend for 23 years. He is Catholic. He was married before, so if he were to marry my mother, it would not be valid in the Catholic church. He went and talked to the church about this, and told the priest how much he and my mother love one another. The priest said that he could arrange an annulment....for a fee. My mothers boyfriend was broke at the time, and said that he could not pay for that, and the priest told him that he could not have it annulled then.

WTF?

Honestly, I was raised Catholic as well. I have really disatanced myself, presonally, from the religion for several reasons. One of the biggest is the greed of the Catholic church. Everything seems to be about the money. *sigh* It is sad.

Sorry to hear that your dad is trying to do that, but honestly, it is only an annulment in the church. Not in the world. It does not change who you are and how you came to be. *hugs*
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User: jessdomestic
Date: 2003-10-02 14:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The part about fees is really intriguing.

My ex was adopted by his parents through Catholic Charities. And -- as the story I heard many times goes -- the agency asked for a $10,000 fee "in appreciation" of the adoption. I don't know whether they paid it, but they took him home, so... *shrug*

That still amazes me. I expect the world to be ruled by greed, but not the church.
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Kaleidoscope Eyes
User: kaleidoscopeeye
Date: 2003-10-02 14:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I think in many instances the church is the greediest organization of all. Sad, but true. :(
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Juan
User: mcclintock
Date: 2003-10-03 11:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
That's why I have a hard time supporting any churches.
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