An ant was once going to tell me a very important secret, but then I brushed my pants and a crumb fell out, and the ant was all like 'Hey Crumb!', and I was like, 'What were you saying little ant dude.' and he was all like 'I forgot, but Hey Crumb! Yummy!'
If they could talk, they could have heeded my warnings to leave my bathroom, but instead I had to violate the Geneva Convention and use chemical weapons on them. It sucks to be an ant.