December 16th, 2003


No regrets

I can't make you love me

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices inside my head.
Lay down with me, tell me no lies.
Just hold me close, don't patronize.
Don't patronize me.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't.
Here in the dark,
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
But you won't,
No you won't.
Cause I can't make you love me,
If you don't.

Buffy - Standing in the Way :

I wish I could lay your arms down
And let you rest at last
Wish I could slay your demons
But now that time has passed
Wish I could stay your stalwart, standing fast
But I'm standing in the way
I'm just standing in the way

At the meeting I told her how I thought I ranked on her boyfriend scale.
Even with the gloom and sadness of our parting that made her laugh. I could always make her laugh. For some women that would be enough. I've held her in my arms and had her tell me she was happy and content with the truth shining in her eyes. For some women that would be enough. My touch always seemed to excite her, and her touch did the same to me. For some women that would be enough. I'm a good, considerate, professional man. I'm a good man. I'm a man that is ready for commitment. I never raised my voice or hand in anger to her. I was always honest with her with my words. I gave her flowers and presents as tokens of my expression, took her out to eat, I always tried to make sure she had a good time and enjoyed my company. I tried to cheer her up when she was down, I called and checked up on her periodically and kept her informed about my life. I was a very good boyfriend. I loved her. For some women that would be enough.

I told her I loved her.
I told her I was willing to try anything including counseling.
I told her I didn't want to give up, I wanted to keep trying.
I told her how hard a time she will have finding someone better than me.
I told her what a great catch I was and she agreed.
I asked her if there was anything I could say or do to change her mind.
I tried every angle, every argument, we cried, and then there was nothing left to do but walk away.
I love you Serena, I hope you find what you are looking for. I hope you find love and happiness.
And now, I close that chapter in my life and move on. No happy ending here.

He's Everything You Want

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

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