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The Road
Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Date: 2003-04-05 08:26
Subject: Operation!
Security: Public
Tonight is the big operation. We can rebuild it faster, stronger, better!
Something like this..

Doc, ' Screwdriver.'
Doc, 'I mcf compressed air.'
Doc, ' Geforce4.'
Nurse, 'Doc, we lost a screw.'
Doc, 'Dammit! We've got to finish this now before we loose any more. Give me the RAM!'
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User: parc
Date: 2003-04-05 12:24 (UTC)
Subject: Psst: the secret of successful PC hardware installation
Here's how it works:

1. Take machine apart. Try to lose one of the screws now, or you'll lose it between the motherboard and the case.
2. Take out old hardware. Curse violently now, or curse violently twice as much later.
3. Insert new hardware. If you don't hear pops and cracks similar to plastic breaking (oh wait. It IS plastic breaking), you're not pressing hard enough.
4. Turn on machine. Note I didn't say put the machine back together.
5. Turn machine off when it doesn't work. Incrememnt attempt_count. If attempt_count < 6, goto 2.
6. I'm assuming you've successfully booted at this point. No, you haven't? Have you lost a screw yet? Did you curse violently? If not, curse violently for at least 5 minutes, then goto 2.
7. After you've successfully booted, shut down the machine. Boot it again. Shut it down.
8. Put the machine back together but DON'T screw any screws in. If you've got one of the "screwless" Dell's, you might be screwed here. Hah. I'm very punny.
9. Boot the machine. Shut it down.
10. Put the screws in.
11. Boot the machine.
12. It's not going to boot the first time. Goto 1 and repeat all steps. It'll work the second time.

OK, I'm joking. Except for the screws part. I've never had a machine work correctly first time out of the gate. Ever.

Have fun!
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
User: parc
Date: 2003-04-05 18:09 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Psst: the secret of successful PC hardware installation
That's the secret -- the cases open all the time.

I admit, I have nowhere near the problems I used to have, but I still follow the addage of not installing the screws.
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