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The Road
Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Date: 2003-10-02 10:18
Subject: Karma and Fathers
Security: Public
So I read a similar entry in DenimDoll's Journal so I'll share my experience.

Until they started tearing it up recently I usually come home on Richmond. I see a few beggars along the way. There's one lady that rides a bike around that I've seen for years. I've seen people give her money but she's always back so I'll never give her anything. Before I switched to Westheimer due to construction there had recently been some guys at Richmond and the Beltway with signs asking for donations to buy Sport Wheelchairs but they were always in the left lanes and I was in the right so I never got to give them donation for what I thought was a worthy cause. Then I went to see Underworld afterwork one day with Rilee and I saw them in the parking lot loading up their wheelchairs. So I went over and talked them for awhile and gave them $20. They were very thankful and even gave me a flier describing the several handicapped wheelchair sports teams in the Houston area and how to support them. So I hope they have success. This by no means makes me a generous person though. I give a bit to United Way every year for work, and a donation to the PvP forums or something like that every now and then that I enjoy to keep it up. I was floored and still am amazed at how much Jessica gives to her church and various charities.

-RANT WARNING- I didn't mean for this to be a rant but it turned into one.

While I'm on the subject of karma, my dad visited me last night. It wasn't a pleasant visit because I was in a bad mood, and he didn't help it any. He arrived 2 hours later than he said he would (as usual) which contributed to my bad mood. Which is always why I insist on him meeting me at my house so I'm not sitting at some restaurant waiting on him. I've waited on him all my frelling life and I'm not going to spend any more time waiting on him. He didn't come specifically to visit me, he's actually going fishing at Padre Island this weekend and I was just on the way and he needed a place to crash. We grown more apart lately, mainly because he moved to Baton Rouge and neither one of us care enough for the other to be bothered to go all that way to visit. We don't call each other much either. I generally put the same effort into talking to him as he's put into talking to me, which is very little. He talked about how busy his new job is, his new place, same old.. same old. While I admire his work ethic the fact is he has always been his job, and his job has always been the MOST important thing to him in his life. Even after he got laid off after 30 years only six months before he could retire he still hasn't learned that jobs are transient but family and people are forever. He threw a bit of guilt at me for not visiting, but I don't feel guilty since I don't think he visited me when I was in Temple. I did offer to help him move since he always helped with that for me but he turned me down. He's still an inconsiderate guy, he usually watches TV really loud until 2am (he's partly deaf from working in the petroleum plant before they made people wear earplugs) but he didn't do that this time but he did make me stop on the way back from dinner so he could buy some beer for him so he could drink himself to sleep (as usual). Instead he lit a prayer candle he had given me and let it burn next to my TV all night. I didn't realize it until the morning. I don't mind the prayer candle but you don't go to sleep with an open flame burning, especially not in a cheap blue plastic candle glass. ESPECIALLY not in somebody else's apartment. He also lost points for waiting until he was leaving to mention that he got engaged and is trying to get an annulment. I don't mind him getting remarried at all, but it pissed me off he's trying to get a
Catholic annulment
just so he can stay in the Knights of Columbus when he remarries.
I mean he was only married for more than 20 years with two kids, and I think he was married in the Catholic church will all the proper prerequisites. God forbid (literally) he not be able to sit around drinking beer with other KC's if he gets remarried without one.
This would make me spirtually illegimate, although I wouldn't be civially because an annulment still mean you had a civil marriage. That shouldn't bother me but it does for some reason. Although I'm not a religious guy and don't go to church I guess I'm technically still Catholic since I haven't found a better religion.
I just hate hypocrisy and he's always been the biggest religious hypocrite. For a man that goes to church that much and made me go until I moved away it's amazing none of it has sunk in. Grrrr. Sorry for the rant.
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User: jessdomestic
Date: 2003-10-02 10:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You're a way more generous person than I, Shaun. Really. I don't look upon my tithes to the church as charity -- that money was never my own according to my beliefs. What you did for those people in wheelchairs is *way* more meaningful than what I do when I put my envelope in the offering plate. You had to get out of your comfort zone to do it. I stayed seated on a comfy pew.

I hate to admit it sometimes, but I inwardly groan when people ask for donations. It was one thing in college, but now that I'm in the workplace and there's always some sort of fundraiser going on, it's hard. I did the United Way thing -- funny, I actually got this free set of pliers this morning for returning the envelope.

About Catholic annullment...my cousin's husband had to go through one. No offense to Catholicism, but sometimes I just don't get the processes and thinking. Couldn't the time spent on investigation be more adequately used in helping couples resolve their differences? Or, at least, making the children feel better about themselves than a "spiritual bastard" feeling?

Eh, see I ranted too. You're forgiven.
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User: parc
Date: 2003-10-02 13:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The annulment is really a way to say, "one of the parties entered the agreement not in good faith." The process should be entered way after the marriage is already dissolved legally. In today's society (be it American or otherwise), so many people get divorced that it would be impossible to continue catholic marriages going, so the annulment process gets a little easier as time goes on. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I've got opinions on the matter (Amber is dealing with the same stuff Shaun is), but they really don't matter.

As for the "spiritual bastard" part: according to this document from the archdiocese of Detroit, the children of an annulled marriage are still considered legitimate, even though the parents were "never" married.

Canon law is full of these swiss-cheese holes (not that I'm an expert, I'm not even catholic).
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Juan: Portrait
User: mcclintock
Date: 2003-10-03 11:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Amber made me laugh when I talked to her. She said after she told you, you said 'I never really liked that man.' hee!
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